Petty Jealousies Or Not
by nin-anna
Summary: Meeting with an old acquaintance of Akari brings back certain memories that Hirato is not much fond of. Bickering ensues.


(_**A/N**__: Because I cannot imagine Akari not owning a whip and keeping it at Hirato's room and I also cannot imagine Hirato being perfectly confident all the time. It takes a lot of time to transition from a particular kind of relationship to another and even after such a transition, memories and issues of the previous will not just magically disappear. Also Hirato seriously needs to be whipped._)

* * *

His gaze danced on the face of the only person on earth who had ever been able to cast a speck of doubt and insecurity on his otherwise perfect self-confidence and self-control. It was truly unfathomable how unaware the doctor was of his effect; here, Hirato was struggling within himself to not transgress beyond the boundaries of politesse while his beloved furrowed his eyebrows in concentration listening to _the third party_. The third party whom Hirato would gladly dispose of, if it was permissible.

It was not permissible at all.

A sigh of childish impatience escaped his lips though its silence was so well-measured that it obviously did not disturb his calm and attentive façade. Keeping up appearances was one of his most honed skills, after all. He re-focused his gaze on the man who was speaking with a clear tone and unnecessarily complex terminology. It was not that he did not understand the terminology, it was rather that he was too uninterested in the topic to even listen, though he was interested in the speaker. Obviously, not for the person's own merit but precisely because his memory had notified him right the moment they met that he had seen this man before. The problem arose from exactly when, where, and how he had seen him before: years ago in Akari's office at Kuronomei. His memory, his very own blessed Mnemosyne had never failed him before so there was no possibility of his subconscious to somehow concoct an image or forge a memory now. No, he had definitely seen this man in Akari's room before; the two had been discussing certain scientific theories of the time rather animatedly...

He had hated it then.

During his Kuronomei years, he had certainly found himself to be a mature person compared to his fellows but if there had been one truly immature, truly cliché though absolutely inevitable and pleasing experience in his youth, it had been his infatuation with his dear teacher. Not that he ever compared what he felt towards his beloved to the adolescent crushes of his classmates towards their other teachers, it still had certain similarities even beyond from the technical comparability... Insecurity was one such similarity he had to endure then, for instance.

How could he not be insecure at the time? Even he could not help it against Akari who did not only possess one of the greatest minds of his time but also was always blunt about his prowess and sure it was especially well-deserved and charming too, but then it was also painful for Hirato to face as it reminded him his own lack of achievements or the small scale of all that he had done and experienced as a young student... His great potential though and his own deep belief in his potential had allowed him to not waver and lose himself to doubt, which was very much present in the background at the time due to very nature of youth.

He remembered distinctly how one day like in many others, he had wandered into Akari's room, opening the door after a few knocks, well-aware that if he introduced himself by voice and requested permission before entering Akari would not allow him in. And he saw Akari smiling, having a cheerful conversation with another man of his own age, another scientist for sure, and another remarkable mind for sure – though not, obviously, as brilliant as he was. Realising the opened door and the face of his most annoying student (not that Hirato necessarily found himself annoying; a carefully balanced mixture of vexing and enticing surely, but not annoying), Akari's face had grown concerned and irritated in a second. Not concerned or irritated as the way it would usually; for truthfully Hirato was rather fond of that specific facial expression, always happy to incite some emotion in his dearest, even if not exactly all the kinds of emotions he desired... No, this time it had been more like a fatigued "_oh no, not you, how tiresome!_" or a particularly dull "_couldn't you choose a better time to bother me?_".

Perhaps he had read too much into Akari's expression then, but it was a fact that he was quickly shooed off by his then-teacher who coldly mentioned that he had "_no time for students_" as he had an "_important guest_" and it was not his office hours so any question would have to wait his proper "_office hours_"... he had also added: "_for you actually, preferably never_".

Any other time Hirato would have smirked at the comments and continue on with his scheming. That time though for some reason he had felt hurt. Would there ever be a time he could ever achieve being so alluring and interesting to Akari as the other scientist or the topic they were engaged in? Beyond duties or work, would Akari ever pay attention to him? His strong belief in himself had wavered for a second and even a second of insecurity had been simply too much for the proud young man.

He had hated it then and he still hated it now. Surely, he had found the answer to the much painful question of his youth: yes, indeed, he had as expected grown into a man complex and exquisite enough to interest Akari. Yes, he held conversations with Akari and they talked and did much, _much_ more than talking too, for which he was and would always be grateful to all the gods he did not even believe in.

None of that however helped facing the small memory from the past. None of that helped seeing just how interested Akari was in the completely pointless discussion that was taking place at the moment because yes, even if the most recent research the man was referring to was valid and distinguished, they would never get the funding: the government was not interested in things of peace, but in things of war. Akari must have known it too. So, why was he just so interested? The possible implications however ridiculous they were still nerved Hirato deeply. He was forever insatiable when it came to Akari.

It also did not help that he had learnt not long ago, during one of Akari's drunken stupors in their little _tea parties_ that the genius doctor had never had any lover younger than himself before Hirato. Akari's interest till Hirato seemed to have been exclusively towards men of his age or older and though being the exception had entertained Hirato a lot, it had also caused some discomfort that he very much preferred to ignore. That discomfort was rather hard to ignore at the moment though.

It was not jealousy per se nor was it a loss of self-confidence in all honesty, but it was a prick that opened an old wound, and however small it had been, it still managed to ache a little. Distressing concerns of the past showing their heinous little faces again.

"Do you have any questions, Captain?"

Hirato blinked, recovering all his stray thoughts and putting them away for the moment, and smirked,

"None at all, as with all due respect, despite its profound and undeniable potential, even if proven fruitful I doubt the government will be interested in possible technologies your research would result in. We are currently in times of war and things of peace are well... for times of peace."

The man in front of him gave a sigh of acknowledgement but the man near him, his dear doctor chose to pierce his skin with a look of daggers. Metaphorically of course but very likely to be literally in near future, surely not through a look but various devices that could very much pierce skin, including his very own fangs and nails. Hirato swallowed, silently and hidden, more from the sweet excitement the possibility of an aggressively intimate Akari than from any real fear or guilt.

"I am surprised that you value so little the things that may be helpful to us in times of peace, as you yourself also acknowledged Captain Hirato. I would assume that a soldier – a leader too nevertheless – would be certain enough in his own prowess that he would start planning for the times after his victory. But perhaps I should not be so surprised after all it is... _you._"

Oh, Akari was truly furious. It would be fun. Hirato simply smiled for the moment though, that knowing smirk. The one that dishevelled Akari's mood the most. Pinched eyebrows and a glare later, Akari turned to his fellow scientist,

"Thank you for coming here and outlining your findings. I am very much interested and hopeful of its future. While funding options from government would certainly be nil right now, I see some commercial potential in your work and private funding can still be sought, if packaged appropriately it may sell well to them. Also, in the future government's position will be subject to change with the changing course of conditions. It is of course up to you to decide whether to call it quits or not but as an old acquaintance and fellow researcher I would not advise so."

_Wishful yet a realist, like always..._ Hirato thought.

–

"Please leave your petty jealousies out of work-related meetings at least. It is intolerably ridiculous. I lose more neurons in your presence than I would if I received a head trauma."

Akari's tone was cold and authoritative. Hours after the sunset and the moonrise, they were finally alone in their own privacy. Hirato was rather amused at the complaint.

"Such a horrendous allegation. Since when speaking the truth is petty jealousy?"

"Speaking only the disheartening part of the truth and not the encouraging one – that part. Deliberate ignorance is malice. You are an expert at it though, obviously."

"While camaraderie among colleagues of same profession is understandable perhaps you should interrogate your very own wishful softness towards the subject, dear doctor?"

"Oh please, I told him the truth; both the part that he wanted to hear and the part he did not want to hear. I could not care less about camaraderie, his research was indeed interesting and promising."

"So you were enticed by his research and thus became angry at my very practical veto? Who is being petty then?"

"Hirato, no amount tautology will change the fact that we both know why you not only did not attentively listen to any of his presentation but also quickly dismissed his work as nothing."

Hirato smirked then, placing his elbow on the table and cupping his own cheek in an almost mocking fashion, something he rarely did,

"It is very unbecoming of you to throw accusations without any evidence. You sure are brilliant and I sure am your bed partner, but isn't it poor judgement to make claims solely based on those?"

Ah, if there was one thing that fired up Akari like nothing else, it was accusing him of making fallacious statements. That would do, Hirato believed, a night of luscious bickering and both figuratively and literally biting was sure to follow.

Surprisingly for Hirato, Akari seemed unfazed, not a single wrinkle of irritation on his beautiful face, instead a daring gaze occupied his eyes and he took another sip from his glass of red wine before speaking clearly with a playfully accusing tone,

"Do not insult my intelligence. Or my exceptional eidetic memory. Even if I was any less brilliant, it would be difficult to forget the instances when the face of the most evil student I've ever met had turned into the pained expression of a five year old whose favourite toy had just been stolen. It happened extremely rarely too that I can, if you would like, recount each one with detail. Oh, and _how surprising_, they seemed to all happen at moments when I was with colleagues and acquaintances of great distinction and excellence."

An instantaneous soft pink graced Hirato's cheeks, it disappeared as fast as it appeared but not fast enough for Akari to not have realised it.

"It was a long time ago." Hirato muttered, finally, perhaps defeated at the moment but already keen to not be so by the end of the night. The night was long after all and they were in his room, for a reason.

Akari gulped down the rest of his intoxicating claret and placed his glass on the table. Then he slowly leaned forwards to his lover, his eyes still donning the daring and knowing gaze as when he was speaking a few seconds ago,

"Truly, it was; yet you are obviously not evolved enough to contain your much unnecessary discontent from mere memories of your youthful worries of who I was sleeping with... It is almost a tragicomedy."

"You slept with him?"

Akari gave a momentous and tiny smirk to that,

"As I was saying: _petty jealousy_. You are still too _youthful_,it seems, considering you can actually ask something like that."

Hirato sighed then; it was certainly not petty jealousy, nevertheless it _was_ a ridiculous question. Losing his composure was something that very, _very_ rarely happened to him and only, _only_ happened when facing Akari. His brilliance was not lost though, obviously, so his mind devised a very witty answer and he was about to utter it too if Akari had not leaned even more forward, gripping his tie and pulling him a little closer... Lips dangerously and very subtly curled up, Akari said, or almost purred,

"It seems that your stubborn nature requires me to carve onto your skin the realisation of _what you are to me now_, so that your worries of _what you were not to me then_ can peacefully die."

Hirato swallowed in a flaring excitement. This time not so silently and surely not hidden.

Akari added then,

"Now, where is my whip?"


End file.
